How to Get Moving Again when You’re Drowning in Stress
Overwhelm can drown you and lead you to burnout. It’ll leave you paralyzed under pressure like getting a butt muscle cramp in the middle of the ocean.
Obligations from work and family come crashing upon you from every direction.
You want to take care of other people’s needs, but the stress is piling up and you’re starting to pay the price for it.
Exhaustion sets in. Your physical and mental health take the hit.
We ignore our stress until it causes problems.
Still wanting to help others, we embrace the suck and weather through it.
Then, we find ourselves drowning while still trying to keep others afloat.
As a coping mechanism for problem solving stressful situations, my brain defaults to making comparisons with cartoons. Last time, the Looney Tunes helped me to reinforce my self discipline.
Who lives a life of pure reactiveness under the sea?
Spongebob Squarepants! ♫
In the episode, Sponge on Duty, Spongebob tries to save a drowning Patrick despite not knowing how to swim himself. The starfish begins to panic, and drags Spongebob down into the water with comical extremes.
It turns out, of course, that they weren’t in danger at all. The water is shallow.
The irrational fear that Spongebob and Pattrick were panicking about turned out to be easily solve-able.
Had they calmed down, breathed, and observed what was happening, they would have figured out that they could stand up in the water.
How can you expect to help the people you love if you’re not able to first help yourself?
If you’re struggling with this same thing, you might be waiting for motivation to come to start fixing whatever’s wrecking your head right now.
It’s easier to ignore the problem and shun out the thoughts like Spongebob does about his inability to swim. Until the day that the dam of suppressed negative thoughts breaks and —
the overwhelm intensifies and you’re thrown into the water without a life vest.
You’re barely surviving like you’re trying to breathe out of a straw in the ocean. You consider yourself lucky to be alive with the amount of stress you’re under. But, it’s a shame that you haven’t had a chance to give your dreams a real chance because you keep putting them off.
Have you been putting your life on pause for other people’s priorities?
If you’re overwhelmed with stress, stop throwing in the towel and figure out how to fix it. This is your life. Fight for what you want. Stop wasting it on creature comforts. Declare war on the stress in your brain!
Never go into a war without a plan
Would you be comfortable walking into a war without a strategy? Probably not. Use this same mindset when you’re trying to fix problems within yourself.
Before trying to jump to the part where you’re fixing things, dump out the contents of your brain.
Write down things that are causing problems right now. These will likely be the sources of stress that need immediate action or reflection.
Then, consider the things that might be missing from your life. Consider nutrition, exercise, and quality sleep. Neglecting one affects the other. These are examples of common missing elements colliding together in their absence to form a black hole void in your brain (and body).
For problem-solving, I use a mind map to clearly identify things that I’m struggling with. Here are topics that I use to help get you started.
Give yourself 15 minutes to think about:
- Things that are stressing you out
- Things that are causing problems now
- Things that are missing
Do not worry if your lists are very long. They often are. The point is to let yourself dump out the contents of your brain and inform you of what’s up in that skull of yours.
You can do this in list form, or use a mind map. I use a mind map to organize my thoughts and see correlations between things that are stress me out. Fixing one problem often improves another. I’ve noticed a lot of my stress can be fixed with a small handful of actions.
How you do anything is how you do everything.
Addressing stressed out thoughts when you have a lot of them can feel like a tangled web. My mind map certainly looks like it. You can overcome this overwhelm by taking a few deep breaths. Let yourself relax, and focus on writing down the first thought that comes to mind.
It’s a therapeutic process — increasing awareness of what’s really bothering you can help you to cope. It allows you to settle irrational stress. Then, you can begin to plan your strategy to tackle the big problems within your control.
After you’ve made your lists, scan your lists and identify two or three problems to begin fixing.
Brainstorm solutions. Make these changes small and enjoyable. Work up to bigger changes. I can not emphasize starting small enough.
Trying to make drastic changes across the board will lead to more overwhelm. Don’t put yourself in a vicious cycle. Treat yourself like a friend, and an ally.
Make it achievable for you. Future you is not a super hero.
If it’s an insecurity or a fear — feeling like you’re always in a hurry or not producing quality work fast enough — spend time journaling about these emotions to work them out.
You’re going to forget about everything else on that list for now. Some of them might feel important. Determine if it’s something that’s actually within your control. You waste mental energy over-thinking about it. Focus your energy on doing instead.
Don’t do a stress brain dump once and think you’re fixed. Revisit it. Make it a practice. Manage your stress.
Sleep on your stress brain dump. Look at your list or mind map again the next day. Then again in a week, or a month. You’re likely to find new solutions or better ideas once you’ve rested on it.
After you’ve started to fix things, check back on your to see what you’ve improved and can remove off of the list. Add anything that’s new that’s stressing you out. Continue this cycle.
Stop being a Spongebob and don’t be a Patrick when you’re drowning in stress.
Don’t expect to be able to help the people around you before you learn to help yourself better. Setting that expectation for yourself can lead to disappointment (and more stress) when you’re unable to show up because you’re exhausted.
Let yourself take a breath first. True friends will understand if you need to take a beat!
There may people in your life that are willing and want to help you. Their support is important, but be careful not to drown them trying to survive.
If you’re concerned about doing this but want help, recruit a neutral party. Seeking a professional like a cognitive behavioral therapist for help can reduce the chance of loved ones feeling the need to get involved.
Learn to stand up on your own feet. Pause, and observe the stress that’s overwhelming you. The water might be shallower than you think.
Practical Takeaways:
- Brain dump everything that’s overwhelming you on paper.
- Consider what might be missing in your life that could be negatively affecting you.
- Identify what you can control immediately and brainstorm solutions.
